Compliments are the best.
I make a point in my life to give compliments readily, and most importantly, genuinely. Because the feeling it gives someone is awesome! But do you know how to give a compliment to someone without mentioning appearance?
Who doesn’t want to be known as someone who spreads love and positivity? It’s really something amazing you can do for another person, in turn making you feel pretty good yourself.
“So why shouldn’t we compliment people based on appearance? People are pretty!?”
Here’s the thing: Yes, people are pretty, but when we only ever give appearance-focused compliments, it perpetuates the notion that physical attributes are held at a higher value than anything else.
If these are the only characteristics that a person gets complimented on positively, it becomes problematic in the sense that they don’t see more value in themselves beyond their ‘nice hair’ ‘weight loss’ or ‘pretty smile’.
Now I’m not saying stop all compliments that involve physical appearance – definitely don’t stop those because who the heck doesn’t want to hear that their new coat is super cute, or that their brows are on point?! (thank you, Charlotte Tilbury sales associate that dished this one out to yours truly recently – you made my day).
But you will be blown away by the impact one of these non-appearance compliments can give.
And just maybe that person will pay it forward, and then the next, eventually creating a chain of amazing positivity that little old you started!
but what compliments can I give that don’t mention appearance?
I’m glad you asked, friend.
I get it, it can be awkward and not entirely intuitive to think of genuine, positive compliments to give someone. So I’ve got some tips and a handy little list to get you started!
When it comes to knowing what might be a wonderful thing to put out in the universe, I suggest you consider these 5 things:
- Consider how they make YOU feel.
- Consider what makes them special or different.
- Consider what they commit time to.
- Consider how they are around others.
- Consider what they try or work really hard at.
Answering these questions bring some pretty natural answers that make wonderful compliments!
- “You always know what to say to make me feel better” “I can always count on you to know the right thing”
- “You’re such an incredible storyteller, I love listening to you” “You always manage to make people laugh, it’s such a gift”
- “I’m in awe of what a talented baker you are. You’ve got mad skills!” “Your commitment to the community is so valued, we’re so lucky to have you here”
- “You are so compassionate. It brings so much peace to those around you” “Your sense of humour is so contagious; You always have everyone in stitches!”
- “Your creativity is so inspiring. You always make me want to get crafty or artsy” “You always give 110% at work, it really boosts the morale and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
Still stuck for ideas? I got You
Here are twenty (20!!!) amazing things you can say to someone else and make their day just a little bit better. And not a single one of them involves how they look:
- You really know how to make people feel comfortable.
- I always know it’s going to be a good time when I’m with you.
- You are so trustworthy.
- You’re a natural leader and people really respect you for that.
- You always know the right thing to say.
- I respect how hard you work, it really motivates me.
- You are so funny.
- You are so kind.
- You are so generous.
- Your passion for “X” is infectious.
- You teach me things in a way that always make sense.
- Your spontaneity makes me want to do more in my life.
- You are an old soul.
- You always have the best advice.
- I really admire your integrity and commitment to authenticity.
- You always are able to think so quickly on your feet.
- I’m always impressed by how quick-witted you are.
- You’re even temperament really helps keep others calm.
- Your strength through the hardest moments is incredibly encouraging.
- You are an incredible human being.